Gay Guys Gunnin' for my Groove

A story about Straight-Chasers

What on earth has this university done to me and my perceptions? I was told this environment would open my mind, ease me into having certain more accepting viewpoints on people unlike me – not that I wasn’t accepting before. I find inserting the male sexual organ into the same orifice that excretes faeces incredibly unnatural, and yet am able to, in a comfortable and judgeless manner, engage with gay men, I’d classify that as pretty damn accepting. Have I made a gay joke in my life? Yes I have. If that makes me a homophobe then please go ahead and imprison me with every other second person. If you have never laughed at a joke about a marginalised group then you’ve never heard one. The fact that the jokes are so un-PC is what adds humour.

For the sake of not having accusations of homophobia thrown at me, let’s establish that I have many gay friends whom I fully embrace for who they are. Part of the reason I’m even able to justify writing this is with their input. Different groups’ campaigns and personal accounts have helped me understand homosexuality better. I have been able to step up from simply accepting homosexuals to accepting homosexuality itself. With that out of the way I’d say that I’m qualified to make the observations that follow.

Here’s my problem. We’re so busy trying to redress the past, and combat ongoing discrimination that we ignore it when it comes from the very groups we are trying to protect. A current issue that most people, including myself, find repulsive is when heterosexual men rape lesbian women because they believe they can fuck the gayness out of them. The word disgusted doesn’t nearly do justice to my feelings on this matter, neither does it successfully sum up how I feel about the way gay men at this university seem to be under the impression they can alter the sexual orientation of straight men if they try hard enough. I have to concede that although definitely less extreme it is in essence a parallel of the unjustifiable ‘corrective rapes’. Perhaps that is a harsh comparison to draw but this message needs to hit home.

I believe sexual assault is the correct term to use when referring to an instance when another person touches or kisses you without your consent. If it is the right term- then I have been sexually assaulted. By a gay man. I believe this entitles me to be angry at that particular demographic, just as it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to be angry at “men, those pigs,” when something like that happens to her. Yet, although not unfazed by it, I haven’t slipped into a world of loathing, contenting myself with muttering about “them faggots” around a braai to the chuckling appreciation of my friends. Although a little begrudgingly, I would rather understand why this has happened to me a couple of times (you thought this was an isolated incident?) despite making it clear I don’t ‘box southpaw’ when I step into the sexual ring. I have a queer friend (he says I can call him that so don’t try pin a homophobic label on me) who’s positive he can ‘turn’ a guy he’s had his eye on. If I mention the possibility of him trying to be straight I get a look as though I’m talking in the devil’s tongue.

My acceptance of what I contend are very unnatural practices used to stem from a philosophy of letting people do what they want. Now it is based on knowledge I acquired this year that it isn’t a choice but rather genetic make-up that dictates who one is attracted to. The people touting this idea of chemical compositions of attraction– the homosexual community. So why do they suddenly forget that myself and other straight men are genetically compelled to like women when they try to bed us? With a reported 25 % of this campus homosexual the pickings surely can’t be that slim.