Miss Independant

She leans over her book shelve in front of a wall filled with posters of every young and handsome celebrity guy you can think of dressed in a short jean mini skirt and a pink sassy top. She smiles and looks at me with her big eyes, “So, you want to know about me and my ways of living?” she asks. She has never had some approach her and ask her to tell them about her untamed life in university. This is a story she has always been eager to tell someone for months.

Sivuyisiwe Brigette Ngcaba grew up in the big city of Johannesburg, and for years she has never been faced with the need to work for any thing. In high school all she did were the things her friends would do; never did anything that seemed to be out of the ordinary. This all was to gain the approval of her friends and every one around her. Sivuyisiwe grew up living with her mother, but occasionally visited her father in Pretoria. “My mother was very strict on me, the only time you would see me out with friends would be at the mall or a day time party which had parents around.” she says with an attitude of someone who really does not care. “In my high school years I have never had the opportunity to smell freedom,” at home or at school; having to please every one every where she went.

Her first encounter with Rhodes University, she explains with so much excitement in her voice and a lit up face. She comes closer and jumps onto the bed, where I was seated as if she was about to tell me news that she has been dying to tell someone in a very long time but was suppressed from telling anyone. “A BLAST OF FREEDOM” that is how she explains her first week in Grahamstown; “It was something I had never experienced in my life before,” she says. Except for the freedom, Sivuyisiwe was still the same girl she was back in high school; she still did things to gain the approval of friends. But the only difference now is that she started to party a lot and drink excessively. She said this affected her academic performance causing her to fail a couple of her subjects. This was not only a weakness but also a habit she felt she needed to change. It took a great deal of time, a full term, till she discovered a book called The Secret. This book helped her realize that “All power is from within and therefore under our control,” (Robert Collier). This is when she decided she was going to live for herself and no one else, and realized that this is all going to need a lot of discipline.

With the combination of independence Sivuyisiwe started making the most of her every day life count. She was the life of every party she attended; and by just being herself, she made a lot of friends. “Rhodes helped me discover my capabilities and this helped me survive the torture of being some one who is dull and boring” she said with a lot of enthusiasm. Sivuyisiwe is now one of the most spoken about first year students in Rhodes University, not every thing they say about her is good yet she lives her life with so much charm and cheerfulness; also doing well academically.

The Pervasive Social Ties

The introduction with Jean—Piere got off to a shaky start. He is a coy exchange student from France whose thick Toulouse accent would definitely clip the reflexes of someone who only gone as far as French 1P in learning the romantic language.

“Bonjour mon nom est Jean—Piere. Je suis de Toulouse en France, vous devez etre Sizwe?”
(Hi my name is Jean--Piere. I am from Toulouse in France, you must be Sizwe?), he said almost comfortably as he opened the door. His room is filled with pictures of ancient buildings and French ornaments it screamed with bright colours of the drapeau tricolore (the French flag) and some Pan—African colours.

“For zhe memories”, he quickly volunteered the information before offering coffee.
His English is good enough, although he sometimes drifts to some usual French phrases to emphasise a point, he is still articulate and very much conversational.
Jean—Piere arrived at Rhodes University as one of the ten students who had won a scholarship to study in any country of their choice in Africa. He chose South Africa, thanks to the reputation that some of our political leaders, sport stars and entertainers have upheld abroad, most of the people from around the world want to come to this country and experience the lifestyle.
It has not been long since he had joined us in this institution and he is already learning to swear in isiXhosa.

“I am fascinated by these South African languages, they have many clicks that are impossible to pronounce”, he said as he laughed at his umpteenth attempt to pronounce amaqanda (eggs). He says he is comfortably fitting to the environment in Grahamstown, except for the weather, everything else is fine.

The deepest conversations between individuals are only said to be genuine when the parties involved confide in each other about their past, present and future. Jean—Piere recounted his formative years as a ten year old in Senegal – just before his family moved to France. He talked about the volatile political situation in the neighbouring Guinea Bissau that spilled across the Senegalese boders and adversely affected his family.

The unanticipated move to France forced him to cut ties with his childhood friends and taught him the reality of life that one does not always receive what they desire. Upon his arrival in France he was suddenly faced with a totally new environment the perplexed him for the following couple of months. He names his grandmother as his source of hope when he felt completely out of place in Toulouse. He recalls her words that have always kept him in check:
“Sometimes you make a good decision, but sometimes you have the decision good.”

It is in the same spirit that he has managed to cope with the lifestyle in Grahamstown. The multi—nationalism of this place works in favour as it affords him a rare opportunity of mingling with people from other countries. He appreciates the way things are done in this side of Africa. With the busy economy, fierce political competition and world class infrastructure, he reckons South Africans should be grateful because they are destined for bigger things. His point of comparison being his native country, Senegal he feels that there is a lot that his country can learn from South Africa.

With the help of Prof. Local, he has managed to know the place and its people a little bit better. His introduction to interesting people, recreational spots and of course the sound warnings about things to avoid, has made sure that his existence at Rhodes yields good memories that he will be able to cherish for a long time. Beside the academic career and memories, he is also here to make friends. It was not surprising that when he parted he decided to quote Mariama Ba (Senegalese novelist), when she said in her novel So Long a Letter:

“Friendship has splendours that love knows not. It grows stronger when crossed, whereas obstacles kill love.” A random comment that lingers in the air it indicates the main purpose for us to help the first year students to have a ‘chilled’ experience at Rhodes University, as we have seen in many instances; an extension of a helping hand sometimes goes beyond the physical touch.

Facebook Profile: Jean—Piere Camara

God help me (if you’re even there).

The story of how res life has been a test of APOLLOS HANGULA’s faith.

Text books and a laptop would be commonplace on any first year’s desk but the bookmark packed bible also upon it hints that the student who sits down to this desk is deeply religious, just like the Arsenal cap and banner on his wall suggest he is an avid gunners fan.
If you thought drinking was the only thing a Rhodes student could do to have fun, have a chat with Apollos Hangula. Alcohol has never touched his moustache feathered lips and he’s having the time of his life. Mainly because he has adapted so well to his new home of Botha House. Apollos says: “Back home I would never have associated with people not like me, but I’ve learnt not to be judgemental.” Luckily for him so have the people he lives with and they are happy to accept him and his “odd” habit. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had needed to drink to fit in,” Apollos says, stopping abruptly at that point obviously not wanting to think about having to have compromised his values.
This slight framed, football mad 18-year-old has grown up in Windhoek, Namibia where he received a strong Christian grounding from his parents. Son of a strict disciplinarian father Apollos has learnt how to not put a foot wrong, but without his father’s presence at Rhodes he has been able to reinvent himself. However Apollos’s principles have remained in tact during this reinvention. He has been introduced to DJing and dancing, and surely girls too? Apollos, still smiling after reminiscing about home, says: “No temptation there,” chuckling all the while.
Botha House is now home to this confident, well spoken young man. “My life has been truly guided, it’s a blessing to be where I am now,” Apollos admits. And it seems that his ever positive attitude is influencing his friends who are keen to list his good qualities in between pocketing balls on the pool table. “Apollos is great to have around”, Thabo says, looking up momentarily before striking his pool ball, “and he’s good with the ladies,” he adds, as his ball skids into the corner pocket.
Seems the page on honesty was missing from Apollos’s Bible because he said there was no temptation in that department. Maybe it’s just modesty though. That’s at least one of the impressions people not within his circle of friends get. Colin Kroon, an atheist who’s always ready to challenge Apollos on his religious convictions, says: “Usually I can get people flustered very easily but I find it impossible to aggravate Apollos no matter how much I discredit his beliefs.” It is this strength of character that has won over so many of his peers who would usually have dissociated themselves from someone who doesn’t buy into the philosophy of drinking themselves silly whenever possible.
His faith hasn’t weakened, but has it strengthened? There is a long pause from Apollos that seems to suggest he is unsure, but his measured response banishes this sentiment. “To some people ‘stronger faith’ may mean reading the bible more- I haven’t”, he concedes, “I feel my faith has grown because I have been exposed to more and yet I remain on the path I want to be on,” Apollos says, his gaze not dropping once.
“I don’t pray for the people I live with- I no longer see them as sinners,” says Apollos as a closing statement to what has been a stirring insight into the life of someone who remains righteous amongst the turmoil of immorality that surrounds him.

Missy's misdemeanours

A lovely young lady, one who has replaced her home many times before in the search of something stable, something steadfast is now situated in the smallest community with the most diversity. She came to Rhodes. All is well in the land of the ambitious youth who never cease to grab an opportunity, however thoughtless, with full force and Missy* is no exception to the rule.
Missy* arrived at Rhodes having travelled most of the world with the conscious certainty that she knew what to expect and that she would know how to handle it. She admits to having only been involved in meaningful relationships prior to university, saying “I realised you can’t have a boyfriend at varsity.” When asked why she came to such a conclusion, she explains that at university there seems to be less inhibitions so everybody tends to go out more often and there are ample opportunities to get intimate (to whichever extent one might prefer) with somebody without the complications that a long-term relationship might infer. Sitting on her bed, her legs crossed with her reading glasses perched on her mass of auburn hair, she seems lost in thought before suddenly declaring that she’s grown up. She constitutes love as a different thing now to what she did before coming to Rhodes. Missy* compares her emotional status from now with then, identifying herself as having become an emotionally stronger person. She fidgets with the strings of her tracksuit pants but her face is sombre, she is relaxed and humbled by the knowledge she has gained since attending university. When asked to define love, she replies without hesitation, “When you find that small part of your soul that’s been missing, that connection. It’s when you don’t see anyone else as anything more that just friends.” Her facial expression does not change but there is a slight sadness that creeps into her voice, it becomes less assertive. “I don’t have that emotional connection to sex anymore”. Missy* admits that as a result of past encounters, she views sex and love as different things, referring to the latter as being true when she’s willing to take a risk for someone, adding that if love isn’t visible, “then why not have some fun?” Her personal view on sex in general at Rhodes is that alcohol has a great influence on it, saying that many people change their initial views on sex once having been at Rhodes because the option to do things that aren’t in your nature is more available and less scrutinised. All seriousness aside, Missy* literally lets her hair down and smiles coyly. She is in a relationship at present and although she says that she is happy and could possibly fall in love with her beau she doesn’t think it is true love. “You might meet your prince charming at Rhodes, but not your king.” All in all, Missy* has embraced Rhodes and the countless images of love, sex and abstinence with a strong will and even stronger values. She is the epitome of carefree indulgence, with that pungent element of wisdom that makes it worth the while.

Time travelling letter

Dear Disillusioned,

I know you don’t like taking advice, but I’m better placed than anyone has ever been to dish it out. Go to Rhodes. I know where your mind is at right now, and it’s not a good place but excuses will get you no where in life. Confess your fears; people will always be willing to help. I can’t stress how imperative it is that you don’t let this opportunity slip. You’ve been dying to get away from home, to leave the insensitive, money chasing, steroid pumped suburban life style. So what are you waiting for? But old me, don’t expect too much of a change in attitudes and perceptions when you get to varsity. People are more open minded, sure. But you can’t expect to stop encountering inane and brainless people, carbon copies of the dross spewing imbeciles of your home town. Unfortunately university selection policies don’t have a way of filtering out these individuals. Be patient, they’re still there. A few in your row in the lecture theatre, one down your corridor in res, a couple near you at the pub- they didn’t go anywhere. Learn to deal with these people and you’ll have a brilliant year. Tough as it is, be a cynic about love. I know you, so I’ll tell you this- wipe the goofy grin off your face and the stars out of your eyes and learn to be more perceptive. I can only give you this advice, I can only hope to God (and yes your faith will be tested) that you take it.
Communal living will test your limits but will teach you tolerance. Don’t ignore the lessons on tolerance, and don’t be afraid to call Rhodes home.
Regards,
An older, wiser you

Letter To My Old Self.

Dear Freshman
As I sat on my desk last night reading about your first few weeks in university, I nearly fell off my chair with uncontrollable laughter coupled with moments of shock and endearment. A truly gagging experience for you, it felt like a walk down memory lane for me.
What would you have done? Mom and dad came out off their bedroom satisfied with the arguments and counter arguments they have been throwing back and forth at each other without much success for weeks on end. Dad suggesting UCT and mom hell burnt about sending you to UKZN, she used to say: “We will easily monitor his progress here”, the famous last words. I remember the sullenness that filled the room as they switched off the TV to break your future down for you (in layman’s terms). The “verdict” was out: Rhodes University was going to be the destination. The bewilderment in your face just said it all.
All the hours you spent on the internet browsing for Rhodes University, all the calls to the student Bureau staff, printing out residences; may have helped you out in coming to terms with what you were to encounter in real life, but alas! Arriving in Grahamstown on its own has a way of calming down people, in a special way that you talked about in your letter. When you said that before coming to Rhodes, the colour purple was not really an element you ever thought would be so much part of a town, not even an educational institution for that matter, it struck me that this is the colour to ever dominate anything else in this town, except for churches. It is the same colour that I got to associate with the town’s weather, which is basically winter with sprawls of other seasons at any given time.
At this point, I will have to praise you for your interesting observation about the “ripping—off” done by the societies on students. You did a good thing by avoiding them, even Trevor Manuel would not mind roping you in, judging by your general thriftiness. That is one of the aspect you can gladly pass to the coming ‘freshmen’.
For the whole duration of your stay at Rhodes, you will still be moved by many things, like having dogs roaming around in lecture theatres; witnessing weekend long drinking sprees—as you correctly put it that a day without a drunk person seems like a day out of town. But the people are nice here; some of them go out of their way to make this place as enjoyable as it possibly can.
You see, it was not that harsh a decision that the parents made. All you ever had to do was to arrive. Everything else is chilled.

Yours in reflection.
Sizwe Hlatshwayo

Eager friend

My dear eager, yet inexperienced friend

The life of tertiary is fun, it has no limitations. The sound of freedom whispers in your ears every minute, while you wonder the streets of Grahamstown, after 10pm. Heading for the ‘sin street’ filled with all of the outgoing students of Rhodes, yes the one street in Grahamstown which has more than three clubs lined down. The sensation will get you excited; you surely can not wait to loosen up and get into the feel of things. Oh boy, this is the Rhodes life for sure, especially during O-week; the first week of your tertiary life.

This might not seem like it is just too much to handle for the first week. Well this is not where it ends. There are parties throughout the year; clubs are always open almost every weekend of the year, but club nights start on Wednesdays. With guest appearances every month; and you have no one stopping you from going out. Even when you have tests lined up for the following week.

Here is where I come in; I am not going to forbid you from having fun or experimenting tertiary life. Well go ahead enjoy yourself, but always bear one thing in mind. You are here to get a degree, and that is what you are going to do. Now my first lesson for you is that no matter what plans you have for the weekend, during the week you should push your academic work till Thursday so that you have the weekend free. Let the weekend freedom be a reward to all the hard work which you put in during the week.

I know things might seem dreary in your world of innocence, and you feeling the excitement of starting the pleasurable and untamed life of tertiary. To be honest with you, not all things are as they seem on the surface. Yes tertiary is fun, oh the fresh and yet so sweet atmosphere of freedom lingers in the air of Grahamstown. But bear in mind that all that freedom comes with responsibilities. You are coming here to learn how to think outside the box, and that does not only mean academically, but also socially.

I am here if you need to give me a shout, or seem to be battling with anything in the department entertainment. Hey keep smiling and brighten up your way to success.

Yours truly
Tokoloho Thoahlane, your big sis *;)